


there's not enough xanax in this world (to make me not go insane)

by emmalem



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, and seungkwan is no saint either, as usual, but he loves his hyung so v much, but they are tempting oh lord almighty, coups is a 50yo dad with a heart condition, crackfic, dino is just, dk is a drama queen, he's done, ish, jeonghan is a modern mum, jihoon is overthinking things, jisoo just wants his kids to follow the words of the lord, soonyoung is an oblivious cauliflower, vernon is as shameless as you'd think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 06:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10299233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmalem/pseuds/emmalem
Summary: the blond-blue haired boy had dropped the younger’s hand like he was playing hot potato, and was hellbent in winning, as soon as they crossed the front door.jihoon frowned but thought nothing of it. even when the boy put as much distance between them as he possibly could without it looking like something was wrong.even when he almost landed a hook on seokmin’s stomach to sit 5 seats away from him during dinner.he just realized something was off when soonyoung dragged him into the bathroom before they went to bed and, jihoonie, i think it’s better if we don’t tell anyone about this for now.whichwowjustwow





	

**Author's Note:**

> pls forgive any grammar mistakes, i literally cannot be arsed to read through it again rn

the thing that pissed jihoon off the most, was that soonyoung had asked him to date him.

 

that fantastic motherfucker, took him to the top of this building that he said belonged to his friend, but the younger was willing to bet he wasted the little money he had saved to rent that place, and had a bouquet. a fucking bouquet. 

 

and then of course he had to calm jihoon down because he started to weep like he had just lost his dog or something, because he was pretty sure that his heart was about to explode or something because he just loved that boy so damn much. he was so whipped.

 

they had to go back before he had managed to stop crying, so soonyoung had to ask him to be his boyfriend inside the lift, somewhere between the 10th and 9th floor.

 

which made him cry more, and he was pretty sure the cab driver though soonyoung was abusing him somehow due to the sheer amount of tears.

 

jihoon was never much of an emotional person, except when it came to their band, or soonyoung.

 

when they got to the dorm, and jihoon finally managed to get himself to stop crying, because by then even soonyoung was starting to think he had done something wrong, the blond-blue haired boy had dropped the younger’s hand like he was playing hot potato, and was hellbent in winning, as soon as they crossed the front door.

 

jihoon frowned but thought nothing of it. even when the boy put as much distance between them as he possibly could without it looking like something was wrong. 

 

even when he almost landed a hook on seokmin’s stomach to sit 5 seats away from him during dinner.

 

he just realized something was off when soonyoung dragged him into the bathroom before they went to bed and,  _ jihoonie, i think it’s better if we don’t tell anyone about this for now _ .

 

which

 

wow

 

just

 

wow

 

he nodded anyway, because having soonyoung in secret was better than not having him at all, and he thought it wouldn’t take long until someone eventually catch up, and then everyone heard about it, because they lived with a bunch of gossip-loving teenagers after all, or soonyoung decided it was good enough of a time to tell them.

 

but that was 3 months ago, and jihoon’s first thought when seeing soonyoung’s face wasn’t  _ i want to kiss you in front of them  _ as much as it was  _ i’m gonna make them watch you bleed, as i skin you _ .

 

with all the love in his heart, of course.

 

jihoon just, he just didn’t understand.

 

it wasn’t like there was even a possibility of them being discriminated against in the group, seeing seungcheol and jeonghan were sucking faces for the best part of the past 2 years and a half and none of the boys even batted an eyelid to it.

 

well, they weren’t officially together, but it wasn’t like they were trying to hide it.

 

well, cheol hyung just might, because he was the dad after all, but jeonghan was a damn flirt and took every opportunity he got to shove his tongue down the leader’s throat, and honestly guys?? dino is here. think of the children for crying out loud.

 

mingyu and wonwoo also were… doing whatever they were doing, and ‘not being together’. everyone just rolled their eyes at them and waited until the other shoe dropped and they confessed their love for each other.

 

and don’t even get him started on minghao and junhui flirting in mandarin in front of them.

 

jihoon didn’t speak mandarin so he couldn’t possibly know that that’s what they were doing, but he would bet soonyoung’s left arm on it.

 

anyway.

 

jihoon was sulking on the couch, pretending to watch a movie with the not couple, and his boyfriend not his boyfriend sitting on the opposite side, when the 4 of them heard a bang and a yell of pain.

 

“my eyes!!! my poor virgin eyes!!!” seokmin yelled running out of the hallway, with the palm of his hands pressing on said eyes, until he tripped on the step on the living room and fell dramatically on the floor.

 

dino got out of the kitchen with jeonghan, both with the same bemused expression, while jisoo’s head peaked out from the threshold, looking at the boy with a raised eyebrow. they all stayed in silence for a couple of minutes before hearing jeonghan sigh.

 

“i really don’t wanna ask, because i don’t wanna know really, but i think i’m obliged to.” he took a deep breath and mused with his hair a bit. “seokmin, what’s wrong?”

 

“they are.” the boy kneeled, still fake crying pointing at the hallway. “they are so wrong.” he wailed making jihoon cover his ears, because, damn that boy could reach a high note. just then hansol appeared on the living room rolling his eyes, with seungkwan trailing behind him, red head to toe and looking disheveled.

 

“don’t make a scene hyung.” he pleaded crossing his arm and leaning on the wall.

 

“oh don’t you dare say that.” seokmin narrowed his eyes pointing an accusatory finger at him. wonwoo sighed and grabbed his cup from the floor to take a sip, because, oh boy, was that going to be a long afternoon.

 

“do we wanna kno-” soonyoung started to ask, and jihoon could sense that he was actually having a grand ole time with this circus going on in their living room, but he was cut short by seokmin.

 

“i had just finished using the bathroom, and was on my way back to the kitchen, when i remembered that i left my phone in my room, so, i innocently go in to retrieve it, only to find hansol and seungkwan committing fellatio in there.” 

 

and then mingyu was patting wonwoo in the back, because he choked on his drink.

 

and dino and jeonghan’s jaw hit the floor.

 

and jihoon could’ve sworn it was the first time in his life that his boyfriend was seeing, because soonyoung’s eyes were open so wide, they almost resembled a normal one.

 

seungkwan shoved his head into hansol’s back, who barely even bulge with the whole commotion going on.

 

jihoon was trying his best to remain expressionless, but he just really wanted to maul soonyoung, because, of course, even ⅔ of the maknae line were in a relationship and they weren’t, but he became too worried with the way jisoo hyung’s eye was twitching.

 

“hey guys, i’m back.” just then seungcheol opened the door with a smile, holding a couple of grocery bags. before he could take off his shoes though he looked at the scene playing in front of him and furrowed his brow. “what did i miss?”

 

“seokmin hyung walked in on me knees deep into seungkwan, and he’s having an episode.” hansol shrugged it off like it was nothing.

 

seungcheol dropped the bags carelessly on the floor while taking a shaking hand to the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a card of xanax, popping 3 into his hand and then shoving it into his mouth, while giving a 180º spin and leaving the flat again.

 

when the door banged behind him, jisoo just started laughing, making all eyes turn to him.

 

“hahahaha, it’s… no, it’s funny, cause i’ll have to kill you now.” he said calmly with a smile, and shrugged while looking at hansol.

 

and then soonyoung and mingyu and wonwoo where out of the couch, because jisoo had flung forward and was in the process of throttling the second youngest member of the group.

 

they managed to get a enough space between them for hansol to breath, while they were trying to contain jisoo, who was agressively throwing both holy water and profanities at the boy and

 

“where the bloody hell did he get holy water from?” jihoon asked looking at dino, mostly because he was the only one available seeing jeonghan had this weird mix of proud and surprise displayed on his face while slow clapping, and seokmin was banging his head repeatidely against the floor. dino shrugged.

 

“i’m pretty sure he walks around with a bottle him with at all times hyung.”

 

the situation calmed down a bit after minghao and junhui heard the commotion and got out of their room to help seungkwan in dragging hansol away from jisoo, who was with a strong intent to make the young boy meet jesus before him.

 

dino shrugged and went back to the kitchen, while jeonghan took jisoo away from the other, with a reassuring hand rubbing circles into his back, while walking him to the bathroom and saying something about freshen up a bit.

 

wonwoo, just noped his way out of the flat and mingyu trailed after him, because, well, that’s what mingyu does.

 

seokmin started to crawl his way back to his room when soonyoung started to cackle, going back to the sofa, making jihoon raise an eyebrow at him.

 

“you condone this?” he asked pointing a finger around making his boyfriend shake his head.

 

“by all means no. i wouldn’t have guessed either of their balls dropped yet.” he said picking up the remote and starting the movie, that had been paused somewhere between seokmin’s cry for help, and one of the attempt of murder. “is just, i’m glad no one really thinks around here. this could’ve gone so boring otherwise.” he explained focusing back on the movie, making jihoon’s brow furrow further.

 

after around 35 minutes when the movie was nearing its end, seungcheol came back and beelined his way to the room where hansol and seungkwan were at. by that time jeonghan and jisoo were already back in the kitchen, and thought better to leave the older, medicated person to deal with that alone. but after the yells of  _ what do you mean it was seungkwan’s idea?  _ and junhui and minghao scurrying their way to seokmin’s room, jeonghan and jisoo made their way over, and soonyoung lowered the volume on tv because

 

“nothing wrong with that? are you insane?” cheol’s voice could be heard on octave above everyone else’s.

 

“if the kids want to get that d, i say let them. sex is relaxing.” jeonghan’s came calmly soon after and then sounds of struggle, that both soonyoung and jihoon assumed to be of seungcheol trying to kill the other.

 

“do you think they need help?” soonyoung asked in a mix of amusement and worry, getting up, but jihoon pulled him by the arm and sat him on the couch next to him. soonyoung looked at him with a furrowed brow. “something’s wrong?”

 

“why don’t we tell everyone we’re together?”

 

“what?” soonyoung asked surprised.

 

“i kind of got it, in the beginning. maybe you were worried, and wanted to just tell them on your own time, but it’s been 3 months already, and i feel like i’m your secret of some sorts, and it’s not even cause you’re afraid they are not going to accept us, because clearly, everyone in this damn band is either doing someone on this band, or considering it, so why?” jihoon vented making soonyoung blink a couple of times while looking at him, and then chuckle, making the boy’s face contort in one of those murderous expression’s jihoon had, shutting soonyoung up instantly.

 

“my love, i suggest that because i thought it was what you wanted, but wouldn’t ask me to.”

 

“what?” it was jihoon’s time to ask dumbfounded.

 

“you were never keen of skinship. well i guess you never really minded it that much with me, and now it’s clear why, but you just never seemed to like it.” soonyoung shrugged taking one of jihoon’s small hands into his own and caressing it. jihoon turned that pink shade he only turned when about soonyoung related, over the older’s comment about skinship with him, because he really did try to be discreet about his crush. “all the other boys, we are always hugging, and touching each other, but you never take part of it, even as friendship, so i thought you would need some time to process the whole dating thing. i thought you’d be, i don’t know a little embarrassed?” the boy shrugged lightly while kissing jihoon’s knuckles, making the boy shake his head.

 

“i want them to know. i want to be able to just kiss you or hug you whenever i want to. i’m crazy about you.” he said making soonyoung give a sheepish smile. “i don’t care what they think, i just wanna be comfortable around them with you, because i feel comfortable with you the most.”

 

“ok.” soonyoung said smiling and nodded. jihoon let out a deep breath he had been holding for a couple of months at that point.

  
“you got me worried.” jihoon said to which soonyoung raised a brow. “i thought you were embarrassed about dating me, or were having second guess, or-” he didn’t had much time to finish his thought process, cause the soonyoung had pulled him into his lap kissing him deeply, making jihoon hum in appreciation, until they heard seungcheol screaming at the top of his lungs, making them stop and lo

oking at the red faced boy in the corridor’s threshold.

 

“i quit. i quit this band. i’m done.” he yelled making soonyoung crackle and jihoon raise an eyebrow at him. jeonghan surged behind him to see what the new commotion was about, to see jihoon all but stradling soonyoung in the couch. crossing his arms, the purple haired boy turned to glare at seungcheol.

 

“how come it took a whole year for you to even touch me anywhere below the waist?” he asked, making their leader’s hand fly to his neck, and just like that they disappeared back into the hallway, with sounds of struggle.

 

jihoon rolled his eyes, and went back to kissing his boyfriend.

 

“disgusting.” they heard dino say in front of them, and the hand jihoon had on soonyoung’s shirt became a fist, crumpling the fabric beneath it, in order to stop himself from being charged for first degree homicide. “scootch over hyungs.” he asked butting them on the side in order to sit down on the couch, with a bowl of popcorn in his hands, taking the remote and putting it on whatever channel he wanted.

 

soonyoung rolled his eyes, and put a finger under his boyfriend’s chin, turning his head away from the murderous glare he was giving the maknae, back to him again, so he could resume doing whatever he was doing before.

 

and jihoon was right, soonyoung realized. 

 

there was no point in trying to keep their relationship a secret. 

  
if there was something none of them had in that bloody dorm, it was privacy, anyway. so screw it.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so, yeah i officially ran out of things on this soonhoon memoir that i've had going on this past week. holla at me if you have any prompts @ mynameisgretel.tumblr.com (or if you wanna yell at me, either way it's cool) and yeah. tell me if you liked it or not idk. thanks for reading everything btw. peace  
> ~drops fake mic~


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